Have you ever helped a loved one “downsize?” 

Oftentimes, downsizing events are precipitated by loss, such as a fall, a major medical event, the death of a spouse/partner, cognitive impairment, or loss of independence. Or perhaps you’ve been “downsized” from your job?

Steeped in negative connotations, “downsizing” is synonymous with grief, loss, and trauma. Raise your hand if you’d like to voluntarily experience this. Downsizing is a negative event that happens to you.

Enter Rightsizing

Ciji Ware, author of Rightsizing Your Life:  Simplifying Your Surroundings While Keeping What Matters Most, defines rightsizing as “a process, not an event.”  Rightsizing is a “conscious, practical, and psychological evolution in the way one lives one’s life…the transition, will if executed properly, liberate you from many real-life burdens and free you in ways you cannot now imagine.”  Wow. Are you excited yet? I’ve got goosebumps.

Ware cautions, “For many, the rightsizing process will certainly involve physical and emotional upheaval and could even result in a total reinvention of your personal ecosystem.”  A total reinvention of your personal ecosystem!  “For the resilient,” Ware states, “however, these major life changes provide an opportunity for discovering the truest sense of home you may have ever known.”  I add that you may also discover the truest sense of self you have ever known.


In coaching, we use a technique called “reframing” to look at a perspective or belief from another angle.  By reframing a situation, we’re able to shift from a negative to a more positive perspective.  This allows us to get motivated to create and sustain positive change.  Studies have shown that focusing on positive change builds longer-lasting results than dwelling on negativity.

Rightsizing = Defined By You

Rightsizing will look different for each of us.  Our vision, goals, dreams for our lives are unique.  Maybe living in a 250-square-foot tiny house is for you.  Or, perhaps, you want a larger home for your growing family.  Maybe owning two shirts is right for you (one to wash and one to wear).  Or, perhaps you want to have seven shirts, one for each day of the week.  Combined with seven pairs of pants and seven pairs of shoes, this would give you 343 different outfits – almost one for every day of the year!  What is right for you?

Rightsize for Right Now

Who are you right now?  Who are you becoming?  Are you holding onto items because they represent who you used to be?  What would happen if you let go of the things that no longer serve you or fit who you are right now?  Imagine how much space would open up so that the Universe could express mail good things/people/opportunities your way!

BTW, Rightsizing Isn’t Just about Things

How about rightsizing your calendar?  What would that look and feel like?  Which commitments would you keep?  Which would you let go of?  Can you delegate any responsibilities to others?  Note which activities drain you and which energize you.  Can also you simplify your yard, to-do list, relationships, money, food, etc.?  How would your life radically transform if you applied a rightsizing lens to every aspect of it?

Rightsizing → Deep Self-Knowledge

Like peeling back the layers of an onion, rightsizing removes barriers we’ve built around ourselves for protection – from criticism, fear of loneliness, fear of rejection – ALL the fears.  Add the layers of societal expectations heaped upon us and we’re each carrying a heavy load.  Whew!  Let’s shed these heavy burdens and find our way back to our lighter, essential selves.

Here’s a deep truth: You are enough. Just as you are.  At your essential core. You don’t need to be busy, say yes to one more commitment, bake one more cupcake, or earn one more certificate, or any karma points.  

Yes, we’re living in spectacularly uncertain times but you will always have you.  

Peel back those layers as you feel ready (with a little help, love, and support from friends, family, or professionals).  Who is your essential self?  I want to meet her.

Rightsizing → Freedom

You are an amazing, dynamic human being, capable of tackling any roadblock that pops up on your rightsizing journey.  Face these challenges with courage and self-compassion because you know that the reward for pushing through these scary roadblocks is freedom.  

This is your life, your journey. What does rightsizing look, feel, smell, taste like for you?  What excites or scares you about rightsizing? Are you ready to experience more lightness, joy, and freedom?

You’ve Got This!

You’re not in this alone.  I’m honored and excited to be on this journey with you.  Let’s create and hold space for each other, and cheer each other on with each small success.

I’m building a community on Facebook, where I invite you to join me for free, non-judgmental, support, resources, and tools.  The Big Rocks Team is also here for you, offering one-on-one coaching, virtual or hands-on organizing, and the full-meal-deal, bring-in-the-calvary, and get-it-done team project!

Let our journey begin with the first of a thousand steps.  Amen.